Meditations

Posted by: thaishin | January 8, 2009

Attempts to wean from the pacifier

There was once when our family was eating out at a fast food restaurant when we caught notice of a seven to eight year old kid still with a pacifier in his mouth and we thought to ourselves: that was too much.

Our son is 3 years old now and I believe it is time to wean him from his pacifier, I don’t want him to be like that kid mentioned above. So, I made some attempts during his afternoon nap, still giving him the pacifier when he sleeps at night. Below describes my attempts to wean him from the pacifier:

Attempt 1: Our son was shrieking at the top of his voice for 20 minutes and he finally cried himself to sleep. When he woke up in between, he was still asking for the pacifier but I denied him and he went back to sleep. But he woke up finally with a shorter sleep than usual.

Attempt 2: Our son was crying again and I thought it may be too harsh on him, so I just gave the pacifier to him

Attempt 3: Yes, he was shrieking again but I hardened my heart and refused to give the pacifier to him. He was crying and crying and then with a broken voice, he said: “Daddy I love you”. I was touched and impressed. I replied:”Daddy loves you too” There was silence for a while with sobbing then with louder cries and I reassured him “Daddy loves you”. Then there was sobbing and then louder cries. Eventually, he felt hungry and I brought him to the kitchen to give him some fruit loop straw cereals. When he was filled, I brought him back to the bed room and he went to sleep. After he woke up, he was again shrieking and shouting: “Awai Daddy”, meaning fight daddy in ilongo. So much for “Daddy I love you”.

Attempt 4: On an alternate day of denying him, he was asking for the pacifier again. When I refused, he swinged his leg against me on the bed and as I threatened to punish him, he stopped. Eventually, he went to sleep without crying.

Babies suck naturally. That is how they suck milk from the mother’s breast. The pacifier plays into this natural tendency and gives them a sort of security. So, after 3 years of sucking on the pacifier, our son must have felt insecure when I denied him the pacifier, even though he does not need the pacifier if he is not sleeping at this point of time( we have been consciously denying him the pacifier when he is awake). Maybe that is why he says “Daddy I love you” to seek some assurance from me. Most of the time, he says “Awai Daddy” to how much he is seeking assurance from the pacifier.

The above account happened in mid-November 2008. Since then, especially after the vacation we had in Singapore and relenting on our part ( especially the mother), he is back to his old ways. On a Thursday afternoon in January, the mother tried to deny him and our son is screaming for most part of the afternoon again. She is going through the same treatment that I got in November. Seems like both of us have to go through it before he will correct his ways.

As a child that attempts to wean off the pacifier, we are also to wean off our old bad habits towards christ-likeness.

Romans 12:2

Do not conformany longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. – niv

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. – kjv

5 Comments

Posted in Parenting | Tags: Pacifier, Parenting, Weaning

Posted by: thaishin | November 21, 2008

Parable of the yeast from another perspective

Post taken from the site of a fellow christian blogger Lightbreak

He told them still another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into a large amount of flour until it worked all through the dough.” — Matthew 13:33

To explain what the kingdom of heaven is like, Jesus used the analogy of yeast. It only takes a little bit of yeast to spread through an entire batch of dough. The gospel has a potency similar to yeast. If we exercise small acts of faithfulness in bringing our humble surroundings into contact with the Living God, then our surroundings and beyond will change for the better.

But there is another reason why the kingdom of heaven spreads like yeast. In the Jewish tradition, yeast was considered unclean. To illustrate, the bread to be eaten during the Passover meal had to be unleavened (made without yeast) so as to demonstrate purity. So when Jesus compared the kingdom of heaven to yeast, the ears of his Jewish audience were surely pricked. The point is that God can consecrate what is regarded as impure and use it for His purposes. We might stay away from a certain professional field because it has a reputation for being full of darkness, for example. Don’t be surprised if God calls you into that field for the purpose of transforming it into something that glorifies Him.

An identity

Work is an important part of our lives. We have been going to school since young and then to college to earn a degree or diploma. And then we go to work to earn the money to support ourselves and our family. We spend a tremendous part of our life preparing for the first job in our life and then another significant part of our life working to earn a living. So much time and energy is consumed in the preparation and leading eventually to finding the work that we desire and then so much time and energy is poured into our work as we labour eight hours or more every day. So much so that work literally consumes us.

It is thus not surprising to me that most people identify themselves with their work. When people ask them how they are, they will mention about their work. When they introduce themselves to new friends, they will say I work in … In modern society, social status is also associated with where a person works. It is because a good position brings good income and thus the finer things of life. I am also not surprised that work gives self worth to an individual. It makes a person feels good especially if he is successful or if he has completed a project successfully. I guess it is a natural thing that results when an individual spend so much time working.

So the question is: Is your self-worth tied to your work? Do you have an identity besides being addressed as Dr So and So or Engineer So and so? What happens when you are retrenched? Or when your business fails? Or when you retire? Will you feel depressed? You might say that the next safety net will be your family when that happens but that might give you a sense of false security because by then you will be in a condition that is very personal.

I learned it the hard way. I was out of job after a few years of obtaining my engineering degree and the opportunities offered by my degree has subsided, more so because my experience gained was not enough to see me through to another job. Yes there is a a need to retrain and re-skill. But more than that, I realised that my self worth was tied to my job. It was very natural. It was the hard way of finding out the truth.

Try some soul searching and ask if that is true of yourself. If yes, do something about it.

For me, it was a humbling experience to be out of job and can’t seem to find another job. It was after that experience that I can truly say now that my self worth is now not tied to my job. Hence, I can now look after my son full time and still be happy about. Ultimately, resting my hope on eternal perspective/Jesus helps me to pull myself out of the slum. It was a painful experience and I guess that it is only from hindsight that I can write what i write now.

1 Peter 3:15:

15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, – niv

15But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: -kjv

5 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: Self, self-worth, Work

Posted by: thaishin | October 17, 2008

Appealing to the taste of my son

One of my friend is concerned about how much his son eats. It seems that toddler eats very little and I read that it is normal for toddler to eat very little. At the age of 3, my son is not eating much either. It is very little compared to the diet of an adult.

I used to be worried about how much he eats, now I am used to the fact that he will eat only 3 pieces of chicken nuggets together with a handful of fruit loops for lunch and a small plate of macroni cheese for dinner. Sometimes he even skip a meal but he will ask for food at a later time. That’s something good. At 3, he is able to tell me he is hungry and I will just feed him. Another friend of mine commented that his doctor advise that as long as children below 5 drink lots of milk, they are ok. A medical and parenting web site suggest giving enough milk at 16 oz per day. Normally, I just feed my son 2 cups of milk per day. And it’s vitamin D milk. The web site suggest changing vitamin D milk to 2% reduced fat milk for kids turning 2 or 3. I discussed with my wife and we decided to stick to vitamin D milk as we are worried that my son is not taking enough fat. She says he needs the fat.

Other food that I feed my son per serving includes two lengths of sausage with a handful of rice ( I would boil the sausage to remove the sodium) or two pieces of egg white (he hates egg yolk) or one scrambled egg with handful of rice (he eats the egg yolk here) or a bowl of cut corn or a couple of oreos/biscuits or a bowl of cereals (fruit loops/frosted flakes/applejacks etc) with milk or a slice of pizza or a slice of bread with spread.

I am also concerned with the quality of the food that my son eats. Besides making sure that he has enough calcium for his bones (that’s why he needs milk) , I am trying my best to make sure that he takes enough iron (important for making the red blood cells). He gets his iron from the bread. Sometimes from ice-cream. Some iron from the macaroni and cheese. Some from the cereals. The cereals and bread is nutritious with lots of vitamins and trace elements. He is getting the vitamin C from the orange juice and the chewable ascorbic acid tablet.

One of my friend’s daughter is already eating meals together with the family and she eats what they eat. But my son does not. He is a picky eater. Maybe it is because he is not eating together with us ( We feed him before or after we eat) . I tried to introduce new food to him but as long as he does not like it, he doesn’t eat. So the advice from one of our friends is true, appeal to his taste.

Maybe I am too worried. My mom who knew not too much about nutrition also raised me successfully. Except for my high cholesterol, I am quite healthy. I guess we live by faith. How much of the food that we eat gets broken down and assimilated and used in cell building as we know in microbiology is not within the control of any human being. We live by faith that what we eat is being used for the benefit of the body. Besides offering the best food that we have for our son, we live by faith that he will be healthy boy in days to come.

4 Comments

Posted in Nutrition | Tags: diet, Nutrition, toddler

Posted by: thaishin | September 26, 2008

About the nature of man

What are your beliefs about the nature of man? Do you believe that some men are inherently good?

Some wealthy men are philanthropist, some men are involved in fighting world poverty, some men volunteer in social work, some women are good mothers, some people are excellent in upbringing and character and are good models for their society. Aren’t these people good?

I bet you will say that these people are excellent human beings. You contrast their goodness with the bad members of our society and say they have not committed any crimes and have contributed to society and should be good people. Yes, they are good people relatively but they are also sinful men absolutely.

I have encountered 2 acquaintances, non christians, who admitted that man is sinful. I would think that they came to that conclusion after observing themselves and others around them. They don’t know Jesus, probably have not read the bible in detail, but came to the same conclusion as the bible.

The fact: Romans 3:23

23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

There is no one righteous according to the bible, including yourself and myself and this is measured against God’s standard.

So the question is what is so bad about the people that I have mentioned? Are these people so bad that they are considered sinful? By God’s standard, yes. And we need an absolute measure if we want to the get the truth of human nature. God is holy and His presence is too much for us because of our sinfulness. The absolute standard brings out the absolute truth, man is sinful.

Some people reject the truth of men’s sinfulness because they are too proud of themselves or they are too comfortable in life to enable the truth to rock them or they just want to indulge in and continue in their sinful ways.

I will dare say that knowing this fact will help you in the following ways:

1) It enables you to understand the true absolute nature of men – fallen and sinful

2) It will help you to have a better world view

3) It humbles you

4) You will have better insight to yourself

5) It helps you in dealing with other people

6) It is the first step to gaining wisdom

So what is next after knowing man is sinful? What do you do with sin in others and sin in yourself? I encourage you to read the bible to find out more.

Self Esteem

When I was a non believer, I had a low self esteem. I was always complaining, whether it was about my studies or about my circumstances. Then I had no knowledge of God and I did not know who I was. I was not a man of understanding. As I was a student, all I wanted to do was to pass the university exams, so I was very studious and studied for nights and days without end. The studies were consuming me. But thank God for my studiousness, I passed my exams. But I still did not feel good about myself. Even when I got second class honours for my efforts, I still felt inferior. No matter what I do, I did not feel good about myself. No matter what self improvement books I read, I could not feel good about myself.

Until the time when I went through the process of maturing in christ and reading the bible for myself, until I came to know about God and the knowledge of self, I could eventually hold out on ‘my own’. Fear is replaced by hope, uncertainty is replaced by security, poor self-esteem is replaced by assurance of my situation. Eventually, it’s knowing God/Jesus and knowing myself. It’s knowing where will I eventually go when I pass away from this earth. (John 14:3). It’s knowing that God is in control of my circumstances regardless of how bad it is (Romans 8:28) . It’s knowing that God loves me regardless of how inferior I feel (John 3:16) . It’s knowing that God/Jesus is my savour and I have eternal life (1 John 5:11-12). It’s knowing that I have understanding through reading the word of God (Job 32:8). It’s knowing that I am a sinner by nature (Romans 3:23). It’s knowing that nothing I do/achieve makes me who I am (Ephesians 2:8-9). It’s knowing that I am a quiet person and God made me that way (Psalms 139:13). It’s knowing that there is no need to fear of anything if death has lost it’s sting (Heb 2:14) . It’s knowing that it’s God who made the heavens and the earth and how great He is and how small I am (Psalms 19:1). It’s knowing that God does not look at appearances but is interested in my heart (1 Sam 16:7). Thank you God/Jesus for making me who I am today.

1 Comment

Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: Jesus, Self, Self Esteem, Self help

Posted by: thaishin | August 8, 2008

Discipline for a toddler

Recounting the moments when my son (2 years 10 months old) was misbehaving:

1) Refusing to put on his clothes after his bath

2) Refusing to change clothes/putting on his shoes when we are about to go out and we have to catch a bus

3) Tumbling the chair over

4) Throwing my watch onto the floor

5) Making a mess of the clothes after we have folded them and about to put them into our closet

6) Pouring milk onto the floor and playing with the spilt milk

7) Pushing and shoving the curtains in the living room. Now, a few of the curtain flaps cannot be turned

8 ) Refusing to brush his teeth

9) Unrolling the toilet paper from its holder

10) Pushing the plastic container which he could sit in around the house. And he will be pushing the container fast, hammering the flooring edge at the fringe of the living room going to the kitchen.

Everytime he misbehaved, I would threaten to punish him. I would give him a warning before punishing him. When he was younger he tested me by repeating his behaviour after my threat and I punished him Now, he knows I mean business when I threaten to punish him. I believed it helped in changing his behaviour even though sometimes it is only temporary. However, I do think generally he is better behaved nowadays, though he still need to be threatened once in a while.

Reasoning with them does not work at this age. Punishment is the best. Then he will know the consequence of misbehaving.

Wisdom from Proverbs 22:15:

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. (niv)

Proverbs 23:13:

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. (niv)

6 Comments

Posted in Parenting | Tags: discipline, Parenting, Sin, toddler

Posted by: thaishin | July 17, 2008

Loneliness

Loneliness is a human condition and any individual will experience that feeling at one time or another. It is probably experienced when you are alone or it may be experienced even when you are in a crowd or even when you have company. Perhaps you are single and most of your friends are already married and have families and spend most of the time with their families. Perhaps you are different from your companionship and feel that you do not fit in. Perhaps you are married but your spouse do not understand you and not able to put his/her foot in your shoes. Perhaps you are a homemaker with much time to spare and looking after young children. Perhaps your spouse just passed away. Perhaps your children have all grown up and have their own lives. What do you do with your time aplenty or with your companions indifferent or lack of companionship.

The circumstances may vary but the condition and feeling is the same. Some may prescribe a cure to it. Try drugs and you will feel a high. Or the advice may be less harmful like pick up a hobby and occupy your time. Or more beneficial like find your passion and you will find fulfilment. Or find a husband/wife and set up a family. Or spend more time in developing your career. Ultimately, it is not just to occupy your time but engage your thoughts and energy as well.

Any answers from the bible? Let’s take a look at some passages.

Psalms 25:16

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted (NIV)

Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted. (KJV)

The psalmist ask God to turn to him and be gracious to him in his prayer. Yes, he prayed to God. God is omnipresent, meaning he is everywhere. This means you can pray to God anywhere, anytime and He will still hear you. But you will hear silence after your prayer, yes you will. But God answers our prayer if we ask Him (John 16:24). He may allow certain things to happen in answer to your prayer. But for that to happen, you will have to believe Him, specifically you have to ask through Jesus. And you have to ask with the right motive in the first place.

Psalms 68:6

God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land (niv)

God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land (kjv)

Yes God will find a family for you when you are lonely. When you believe, you will be born again and will born into the family of God. All fellow believers are your family members, your brothers and sisters in christ. I am sure if a person is a true believer, he will extend his hospitality to a new believer.

Psalm 34:22

The LORD redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate (KJV)

The LORD redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him (NIV)

I like the kjv version here. It says those who trust in him shall not be desolate. As long as we trust to put ourselves into the charge of God, we will not feel lonely or abandoned. Usually the feeling of loneliness comes with other feelings like hopelessness or insecurity, rest assured that we will find hope and security if we believe in Jesus/God and trust in him. Security because everything works out for the good of the believer, even adverse circumstances, hence there will be no fear in us. After all, if we no longer fear death, what can harm us. Hope because Jesus is now on the right hand side of God and we know we serve a living God who conquered death, hence we live each day looking toward the day Jesus will come again.

Ultimately, however, we should be looking to Jesus to fulfill the emptiness within us so that we will not thirst again. (John 7:38 – Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from him – niv)

So we see that loneliness can be alleviated if we believe and accept Jesus into our lives. In Him, we have security, direction and purpose. And spirituality engages our thoughts and energy. For all times, we can be alone and not lonely.

So start believing and start reading the bible where God’s gold and silver are and strive for things that are eternal instead of looking at temporal things!