Taken from the blog lighbreak:
http://lightbreak.wordpress.com
A friend of mine recently began studying what the Bible has to say about loneliness, and I have to say that the fruits of her studies are totally thought-provoking. Actually, after I learned she was doing the study, I sent her some materials on the subject, including some I serendipitously came across just recently. (Coincidence? I think not.) Reading her thoughts along with the materials I’ve collected, as well as my previous musings on the subject, have led me to a deeper understanding and appreciation of marriage than ever before. The most fascinating insight so far is this.
I’ve often thought the love between a man and a woman is described as a romantic love (eros) as distinguished from the love between relatives/friends (philos) and unconditional love (agape). Certainly, eros has its place in a marriage. But there is a different kind of love involved I think, one unique to the bond between husband and wife. To understand what that love is, we need to go back to Genesis 2. This was before the Fall. Adam was still in perfect relationship with God. And yet, he was lonely.
What was the source of that loneliness? It was not the fault of sin that Adam was lonely, for sin had not yet infected creation. The loneliness likely stemmed from the fact that Adam was the only human being on the planet. Now, keep in mind that up until the creation of Eve, Adam knew nothing different. The idea that a female version of his kind exists never crossed his mind. You can’t miss what doesn’t exist. Still, the sense that something was missing was evident. “It is not good for the man to be alone,” God said. Genesis 2:18. Something like a woman should exist.
The Bible is oblique about why Adam would even know to feel lonely, but one could speculate. As a creation of God, Adam was a finite being. And as we acknowledged, he was the only finite being of his kind, meaning the only one made in the image of God. To be made in the image of God is a beautiful thing, yet awful in the absence of companionship. For God is relational, and so man is inherently relational. But if one is the only finite being made in the image of God, with whom else could one relate? Not the other creations of God. As Donald Miller points out in Searching For God Knows What, the loneliness Adam felt was probably amplified by his God-given task of naming the animals. The more Adam carried out the task–and it was a job that must have taken a very long time to complete–the more he realized there is no other creature like himself. He could not relate to a zebra or a tiger. He was the only one of his kind. How horribly lonely that is. Not even an untarnished relationship with God could fill that void, for God is not of Adam’s kind; unlike Adam, He is infinite.
Adam’s loneliness was shattered when God created Eve. Until now, I failed to realize the gravity of Adam’s reaction upon seeing Eve for the first time. Adam said:
This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called “woman,”
for she was taken out of man.
Genesis 2:23. Oh what a bittersweet moment! How poignant is Adam’s reaction! “Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” The loneliness stretching for years, maybe decades, came to a halt. Here at last was a creature like himself. Adam gave this creature her name–Woman–which in the Hebrew sounds like the word for “man.” Finally, Adam had a fitting companion, one who could understand him. She was capable of relating to him like no other creature could. After all, she was formed out of his very essence, and like him, a finite being created in the image of God. They were united as “one flesh,” as the Bible says (Genesis 2:24), and that’s quite literally what they were.
What the Woman (only after the fall was she named Eve, by the way) made possible was relationship. This is what Adam so longed for. Consider the possibilities that relationship brings. Adam could begin to discover himself by relating to the Woman because she was a reflection of him. He could see things about himself in her that he never would have noticed in his lonely state. Perhaps most importantly, the interaction between Adam and his wife would allow them a glimpse of how God loves. We know God is love. God expresses His love relationally. Indeed, the act of Creation was an expression of God’s love, and its result was a creation with whom God could relate. In the give-and-take of relationship, Adam and his wife would learn what love is. And together, embarked on the same journey, they would discover the depths of God’s love.
How does this apply to modern-day relationships? Not much has changed. Men and women still need each other, and here’s why. Humans have a basic need to be understood. We need a counterpart who can say with absolute sincerity, “I understand you; I know what makes you tick, because the stuff you’re made of is also in me.” You can add romance and physical attraction into the mix, but the deepest need satisfied by the marital relationship is reassurance that there is someone out there like us who understands us and yet loves us.
Marriage–the union of finites in communion with the Infinite. How beautiful.
Meditations 